Defining love is tricky. But one thing I can certainly tell you about real love is that it is free of all kinds of judgments. For a better understanding, observe the love of your mother for you – you may be full of shortcomings, she still sees only the goodness in you. She loves you just the way you are, without disregarding you for being you, and without forming any judgment about who you are. And we call it pure love.
When it comes to relationships other than a mother-child relationship, it seems quite difficult to love without forming opinions about how the other person looks, thinks, and behaves. But forming opinions and lashing out at someone for being a certain way can mess up your relationship with them. There may come a time when you might disregard their opinion to put forth your own opinion about something, which could disrespect them. The words of criticism could affect them brutally as your constant disregard for them for being ‘themselves’ will eventually harness the relationship.
How to Be Less Judgmental in Your Relationship
It is human to be judgmental. In support of this nature, many people argue that judgments are essential to make life decisions. They might say that highlighting their flaws can help their loved ones to change for the better, which is partially true. Yes, it is crucial to make your loved ones aware of their shortcomings, but that doesn’t require you to be a constant critique of them. There are various other ways through which you can add value to their life, but forming opinions, being judgmental about their decisions, and imposing your standards on them doesn’t help.
It is a common saying that if you are exceedingly judgmental about others, then it means you act the same about yourself the most. When you don’t accept yourself fully, you judge yourself for being different than the others due to some conventional norms that prevail in society. For example, there is quite a general judgment that if you cry easily, you are considered an emotionally weaker person. And that’s why you are likely to judge other people too. The urge to be accepted by others, in turn, makes you judgmental about other people’s emotional quotient as well. You ought to acknowledge the fact that you are a human, and every individual is different. You being an overly emotional person makes you no less of a human, and neither is the case with others. If you accept yourself fully and acknowledge that every individual is different, you will become less judgmental about others as well.
As for your partner, well, imagine yourself loved for things you consider as a flaw in you. It feels great to know that your other significant loves you even when you don’t love yourself for being yourself. Make your loved feel comfortable in their skin and see your relationships deepening with every moment.